Juvenile Detention Center Forced by Judge To Abandon Rehabilitation Techniques; Returns to Medieval Torture

RUTLAND – After a particularly critical ruling by a judge this week, Woodside Juvenile Rehabilitation Center will no longer be using force, isolation, or seclusion as ways of helping the teenagers at the facility. Instead they will have to return to their previous methods of rehabilitation, such as stockades, pillories, and the iron maiden.

“The rack is still a favorite among the workers at the facility,” said assistant director Vlad Genghis Torquemada. “We had kind of stopped using it as much, what with all the psychological ways we have now of damaging, uh, I mean, rehabilitating the kids. But now the courts say we can’t do that stuff anymore, so I guess we’re back to the ol’ whips and chains. Some of us like that better honestly, although it sounds like a lot more work to me.”

One device being brought back is called “The Chokey,” which is a wardrobe covered with broken glass, and nails hammered in from the outside. Due to the new policy against isolation, however, the chokey will only be used for two or more residents at a time.

“Yeah, they’re more likely to get stabbed up a bit I guess,” Torquemada admitted, “but the law’s the law. We gotta have at least two of ’em in there, so’s they don’t get lonely. Honestly, they said they were going to send someone here who knows about kids and stuff, but that could take months, or years, so for now we just do whatever we feel like in the moment. But we have the new rules from the judge. We’re definitely going to follow them, even without any sort of oversight whatsoever. Why wouldn’t we?”

DCF has promised to appoint someone to oversee the facility, just as soon as their overworked and underpaid employees finish what they’re working on now, provided no new cases pop up in the meantime.

Image Credits: VTDigger.