Champ Rises From Lake in Fundraiser to Save Lake Monsters Baseball
BURLINGTON – When the potential end of the state’s own minor league baseball team was rumored, the namesake of the Vermont Lake Monsters rose from […]
Month: November 2019
Multi-Agency Initiative to Put Ticks, State Debt into Newport’s Downtown Hole
NEWPORT – In an announcement dropped between Thanksgiving and Christmas, when Vermonters are paying the most attention to the news, Governor Scott spoke today about […]
Trump Prepares to Pardon Several Turkeys
WASHINGTON – As the national celebrates a day of thanks for the help provided to our earliest settlers by the people we would later exterminate […]
Vermont Prepares to Swap Population With New York, New Jersey
WINOOSKI – Today marks the first day in a three-to-five-day experiment that will see Vermont swap up to 50% of its population with residents of […]
New Survey Shows 100% of Vermonters Hold Moderate Political Views
WINOOSKI – In a shocking new survey, results show that the “liberal” state of Vermont is full of moderates. Even in the more “conservative” rural […]
Tesla Unveils Cybertruck, Modeled After Elon Musk’s Winning Pinewood Derby Car
PALO ALTO, CA – Little 9-year-old Elon Musk had no idea that the car he designed for his Cub Scout Pinewood Derby would one day […]
Syrup & Cows #129 – 11/24/19 – Snow Day
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
In Political Compromise, BPD Officers Will Now Be Armed With Guns That Shoot Knives
BURLINGTON – When a city council member suggested that Burlington Police stop carrying guns, Chief Brandon Del Pozo balked at the idea, suggesting that the […]
VT Department of Health Cautions Residents Against Making Snow Angels After Reports of Ticks Wearing Tiny Coats and Hats
MONTPELIER – Children across the state are being warned against lying down in the snow by the Vermont Department of Health, thanks to new reports […]
Democrats Call George Washington As Impeachment Witness; Republicans Question His Patriotism
WASHINGTON – As another day of impeachment hearings drew to a close in the D.C., Democrats called a surprise witness in one of the nation’s […]