Local Students Attempt to Run Mock Trial Without Calling Any Witnesses
BOLTON – As the Senate contemplates whether to call witnesses in the impeachment trial of Temporary President Donald Trump, local teacher Peach Imm has also […]
Month: January 2020
Burlington Mayor Accused of Accepting Plastic Bag at City Market
BURLINGTON – Another scandal has hit the Queen City this week, after multiple witnesses report seeing Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger leaving City Market with a […]
Transgender Agenda Revealed to Be Blank Piece of Paper
BURLINGTON – A mild controversy arose this week after the Fletcher Free Library agreed to allow a feminist group to meet about combating the transgender […]
Syrup & Cows #138 – 1/26/20 – Solid Plan
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Scientists Searching for Elusive Drinking Straw that Biodegrades Sometime Between 20,000 Years, 2 Minutes
MARSHFIELD – Researchers at Designs Unlimited Marshfield (DUM) say they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to design a drinking straw that will […]
Hinesburg Fence Viewer Announces Candidacy For Cemetery Commissioner
HINESBURG – A wave of candidacy announcements has swept Hinesburg after the local fence viewer resigned in preparation for his run for cemetery commissioner. Bill […]
In Keeping With White House Policy, Donald Trump Denies Existence of Greta Thunberg
WASHINGTON – Per the White House policy on climate change and climate change activism, Temporary President (TP) Donald Trump denied the existence of Greta Thunberg […]
Vermont Ends All Wind Energy Projects, Moves Toward Cow Fart Energy
HOLLAND – With announcement that the Dairy Air Wind turbine will no longer be developed, Vermont currently has no wind energy projects in the works. […]
Vermont Introduces “Paid Political Leave” Bill
MONTPELIER – Politicians have a very rough go of things, according to many local politicians, and since they are the ones who make the laws […]
Burlington Mayor Threatens to Replace Acting Police Chief With Someone Even Worse if Officer Morale Does Not Improve
BURLINGTON – Faced with increasingly low morale in the department, Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger has informed the officers of the BPD that they had better […]