The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

Month: January 2020

Local Students Attempt to Run Mock Trial Without Calling Any Witnesses

January 31, 2020 Jill Allen 0

BOLTON – As the Senate contemplates whether to call witnesses in the impeachment trial of Temporary President Donald Trump, local teacher Peach Imm has also […]

Burlington Mayor Accused of Accepting Plastic Bag at City Market

January 29, 2020 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Another scandal has hit the Queen City this week, after multiple witnesses report seeing Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger leaving City Market with a […]

Transgender Agenda Revealed to Be Blank Piece of Paper

January 27, 2020 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – A mild controversy arose this week after the Fletcher Free Library agreed to allow a feminist group to meet about combating the transgender […]

Syrup & Cows #138 – 1/26/20 – Solid Plan

January 26, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Scientists Searching for Elusive Drinking Straw that Biodegrades Sometime Between 20,000 Years, 2 Minutes

January 25, 2020 The Winooski 0

MARSHFIELD – Researchers at Designs Unlimited Marshfield (DUM) say they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to design a drinking straw that will […]

Hinesburg Fence Viewer Announces Candidacy For Cemetery Commissioner

January 24, 2020 The Winooski 1

HINESBURG – A wave of candidacy announcements has swept Hinesburg after the local fence viewer resigned in preparation for his run for cemetery commissioner. Bill […]

In Keeping With White House Policy, Donald Trump Denies Existence of Greta Thunberg

January 23, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Per the White House policy on climate change and climate change activism, Temporary President (TP) Donald Trump denied the existence of Greta Thunberg […]

Vermont Ends All Wind Energy Projects, Moves Toward Cow Fart Energy

January 22, 2020 The Winooski 5

HOLLAND – With announcement that the Dairy Air Wind turbine will no longer be developed, Vermont currently has no wind energy projects in the works. […]

Vermont Introduces “Paid Political Leave” Bill

January 21, 2020 The Winooski 1

MONTPELIER – Politicians have a very rough go of things, according to many local politicians, and since they are the ones who make the laws […]

Burlington Mayor Threatens to Replace Acting Police Chief With Someone Even Worse if Officer Morale Does Not Improve

January 20, 2020 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Faced with increasingly low morale in the department, Burlington Mayor Miro Weinberger has informed the officers of the BPD that they had better […]

Posts navigation

1 2 3 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Strangest Laws in Vermont - Liner Law on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • 2inscrutable on Breaking News: Other States Also Have Weather
  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

Back Issues

Copyright © 2023 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes