HOLLAND – With announcement that the Dairy Air Wind turbine will no longer be developed, Vermont currently has no wind energy projects in the works. Some energy experts are giving up, feeling that there is no hope for any of us if we can’t get one remote turbine erected in a field where the owner is desperate for it. Others, however, are moving on to what they hope will be the next great hope for renewable energy: cow farts.
Methane, while a potent greenhouse gas, is the prime ingredient in
commercial natural gas. Some refineries occasionally “flare off” natural gas to prevent it from going into the ionosphere and causing global warming. But why, say some experts, can’t we harness that energy?
“There is an abundant source of natural gas right here in Vermont,” says Vermont Energy Investment Corporation (VEIC) Cow Fart Manager Wynn Breaker. “Why are refineries literally setting things on fire to cool down the planet? This makes no sense to me. Why don’t we build better refineries here in Vermont, and use the naturally produced methane from our local flatulent cows to create renewable energy?”
Vermont’s dairy farms have been hit hard as many locals have turned to militant veganism but, according to Breaker, “even the vegans have to charge their iPhones.” With green electricity becoming a necessity, and fields are filling up with cows who have nothing to do, the Dairy Air Wind Turbine project has now become the Dairy Art Fart Turbine, and hopes to draw the methane produced from the nearby animals in order to convert it to natural gas.
“I can’t think of a more natural gas,” said Breaker. “We’re going to collect
all that bovine methane, store it, and put it into the brand new natural
gas mains recently installed in the western portion of the state. This is really a win-win for the people and the state of Vermont. Energy development has stalled. What we need, is a fresh fart.”