Hinesburg Fence Viewer Announces Candidacy For Cemetery Commissioner

HINESBURG – A wave of candidacy announcements has swept Hinesburg after the local fence viewer resigned in preparation for his run for cemetery commissioner. Bill Walls, who served as fence viewer for seventeen years, says it’s time for him to move up the ranks.

The town’s website has already removed Walls’ name, now listing fence viewer as “not appointed.” With the “Paid Political Leave” bill still in debate in Montpelier, Walls says he felt stepping down was the right thing to do.

“When Zuck announced he was runnin’ fer guvn’r, suddenly everybody’s tryna move up in the world,” Walls told press at the announcement. “Our Senator’s plannin’ on runnin’ fer his job, so Renae, she’s the town administrator, I guess she’ll run fer senate. One o’those select board folk’ll be aiming fer her spot, and it’s just gone crazy round here. When I heard the cemetery commissioner was goin’ fer the library runnin’ job, I knew this was my moment.”

At least six people have announced their intention to run for fence viewer, an appointed post that does not require a campaign.

“I wasn’t sure I should reach fer so lofty a goal,” said potential appointee Noah M. Bisson, “but I’m gonna go fer it. I’ve been on the fence about it fer too long.”

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