Island Pond Woman Thinking Of Moving to Westmore

ISLAND POND – The small community of Island Pond was shaken this week, as long-time resident Stella Ronde announced she was considering a move to Westmore, a town well over ten miles away from her current home. A community meeting was called to discuss how to handle the situation, and Ronde’s neighbors struggled to understand the news.

“Now I know I never been outta Island Pond,” said one gentleman, “but why would anyone wanna leave? It don’t make sense! I can’t remember the last person who moved away. And Westmore? What’s Westmore got that we ain’t got?”

Murmurs of agreement rippled throughout the crowd of almost two dozen people. Many commented under the breaths that Westmore was not as great as some seemed to think it was.

“My family’s lived here for nine generations,” said one woman, taking the microphone, “and my Daddy went over to Westmore once. Said they got a real nice lake over there. I guess our pond ain’t big enough for ol’ Stella Ronde anymore. Guess she needs a lake now. Well who needs her anyway?!”

Ronde, who was offered a job at Willoughby Lake Store, says she is only considering the move because of the pressures of her new commute.

“Look, I don’t wanna leave town. I been over there to Westmore, and those people are, well, I can’t even describe it really. They ain’t Island Pond people, that’s all I can say. But if I stay here, I might have to drive for twelve minutes, if there’s traffic, just to get to work. And then I’d have to drive right home again! Who wants to waste their life like that?”

The community meeting ended with a call to ask Ronde’s current employer, Northwoods Stewardship Center, to raise her hourly wages, in the hopes of keeping her from moving, which passed by one vote. More on this story as it develops.

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2 Comments

  1. No joke, this article reminds me that I know people in Chittenden County who don’t like to go into Burlington because it’s too big and busy and traffic-y and scary. And we’re not talking senior citizens.

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