The Winooski

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Month: March 2020

Woodstock Bans COVID-19 Within Town Limits

March 20, 2020 The Winooski 0

WOODSTOCK – Woodstock has become the first Vermont community to ban COVID-19 by ordinance. Woodstock Town Manger Rocky Feller made the announcement following a Skype […]

Pope Confirms Virus is God’s Judgement Against Old White Dudes

March 18, 2020 The Winooski 1

VATICAN CITY – In a stunning message coming out of what can only be classified now as a disaster area, Pope Francis has announced that […]

Burlington Finally Solves Parking Problem

March 17, 2020 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – Residents of Vermont’s largest city are reporting a sudden wealth of parking spaces all around the downtown area, after years of complaining that […]

National Casket Makers Praise Trump Administration Response to Virus

March 16, 2020 The Winooski 0

WESTMINSTER – A number of Vermont casket makers, including Vermont Casket Co., have joined together with other such companies around the country to publicly praise […]

Syrup & Cows #145 – 3/15/20 – Victory

March 15, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Burlington Free Press Sees Sudden Spike in Print Subscriptions

March 13, 2020 The Winooski 3

BURLINGTON – Local newspaper Burlington Free Press is struggling to understand what has caused the recent jump in print subscriptions, vs. online only readership. Subscriptions […]

VT Confirms First Case of Online Covid-19

March 12, 2020 The Winooski 0

MENDON – The C.I.T. (Centers For Internet Transmissions) has verified the first internet virus transmission of Covid-19 on a Snap Chat posting in Mendon, Vermont. […]

Princess Cruise Passengers Get Free 2-Week Trip Extension and Private Room Upgrades

March 9, 2020 The Winooski 0

OAKLAND – With the State Department now recommending that people avoid going on cruises, Princess Cruise Line is offsetting that potentially devastating news with fabulous […]

Syrup & Cows #144 – 3/8/20 – Barn Protest

March 8, 2020 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Bernie Supporter Looks to Expand Base By Harassing Elizabeth Warren Voters

March 7, 2020 Kasey Child 1

WILLISTON – Supporters of Bernie Sanders are working tirelessly to expand the senator’s base of support by harassing people online and in person. The Winooski […]

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