“Bosom Buddy” Bra Mask Sales Soar

FAIR HAVEN – Facial mask maker Victoria Segreta, of the Fair Haven Recycler Company, is reporting a 3,000% jump in sales since her firm retooled its factory and now recycles bras into virus masks under the name “Bosom Buddies.” Segreta states that she originally called her product Bosom Buddies satirically but it “took off.”

Eighty percent of her customers are Vermont men purchasing online, doing what she calls “Male Ordering.” Sizes range from trainers to huge retainers, designer patterns and stretchers, soft to firm. “These do not provide N-95 protection but are “uplifting for someone requiring a mask” according to Segreta. “We are now developing a strapless design which will provide more of a comfortable fit.”

The company recently received the “Throwaway” award from the International Women’s Lib Society. This was a huge boost to sales. The masks have even inspired an internet social contact site called Facebuddy, where owners can compare masks and share fashion and safety tips.

Segreta plans to continue manufacturing after the current pandemic ends, as she hopes they will continue to inspire fashion trends long after their necessity fades away. The company installed a billboard on Route 4 near Whitehall, N.Y. which says “Welcome to Vermont! Home of Bosom Buddies!” Tom Hanks could not be reached for comment.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Winooski on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!


1 Trackback / Pingback

  1. “Bosom Buddy” Bra Mask Sales Soar – The Winooski | And now for something completely different. Maybe. Almost. Not really. Entertainment For The Easily Amused.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.