Vermont Announces Permanent Move to Virtual Government

MONTPELIER – Citing the success of having state employees work from home, the Scott administration says the program will continue indefinitely. All state workers will continue to work from home, even after the currently restrictions are lifted. Vermont Virtual Digital Government (V.V.D.G.) is estimated to save taxpayers between 800 Million to 1 Billion dollars annually.

State office facilities such as The Pavilion and AOT Headquarters, as well as most other government buildings throughout the state, would be converted to high end condominiums for wealthy out-of-staters. Revenues from these properties will help balance the underfunded teacher retirement system as well as provide hotel development grants in the Burlington area.

Having workers remain at home will reduce carbon emissions by an estimated 600 tons annually, as no one will ever need to go anywhere again. The state will convert to digital courts via Zoom. Sales of surplus state property will move to eBay. The Vermont Police Academy will be converted to a private hotel complex as well, since all training will be done online through virtual reality equipment.

Additionally, sources in the governor’s office say that they are considering the termination of fish stocking in lakes, rivers, streams and ponds. There would be a conversion to aqua-culture and fish such as trout, salmon and walleye would be sold to processors as a revenue source bringing in more funds than fishing licensing. As for those who engage in protest in front of the soon to be empty state house, there are plans to erect a huge outdoor monitor so that protesters can Skype their concerns.

Scott spokesperson Snappy Twitterson endorsed the changes as “another Vermont first,” adding, “People can no longer complain about those folks in Montpelier. Now you won’t know where they’re at! Isn’t that the way government should be?” Snappy ended his chat by confirming that a Vermont V.V.D.G. license plate is also in the works, for the few dozen people that might still need cars in future.

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