Vermonters Heading to Georgia For Haircuts, Tattoos

SOUTH BURLINGTON – The GET ME OUT OF HERE Travel Agency has arranged a charter from Burlington International Airport nonstop to Hartsfield International Airport in Atlanta. It will leave on Monday morning at 5:30AM and return at 11PM. After the return guests will be provided with a room, including full room service with an unlimited menu, at the Hotel Vermont for fourteen days.

Once the 737 Max (approved by the FAA for test travel) touches down in Atlanta, the passengers will be bused to a gym for a workout, followed by a bowling alley for three games: lunch at a McDonald’s or Wendy’s (at the guest’s choice); a tattoo parlor; hair stylist and finally a massage parlor.

Dinner will be at a Waffle House before a return to the airport.

The cost off the trip will be $2500 or the amount of the guest’s federal virus relief check whichever is greater. The cost for the optional shuttle bus and 18 holes at the Augusta National golf course is $5000 which includes green fees, an electric cart, one mint julep and lunch.

The announcement for the trip was made at Governor Scott’s Tuesday press conference. He said, “I am granting special permission for this trip to those who might go insane if they were not allowed to do this. The massages in particular will relax everyone and a hair styling will prevent some Vermonters from renewing their 60s hair length and becoming hippies again.”

Guests will enjoy a gift bag that includes a thermometer, ingestible Lysol, a gallon of Purell, a roll of toilet paper and a mask with the UVM logo on it (or for New Hampshire guests, it will say “live free or die.”)

F-35s will accompany the charter until it has arrived at airspace below the Mason-Dixon line. Concern was expressed that northern states will treat this as an act of rebellion from Vermont, but Gov. Scott insisted that it was an opportunity for the F-35 pilots to do more than just rumble windows in Chittenden county.

For more information you are asked to contact

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