Dating Sites Add New Categories as Social Restrictions Begin to Lift

BURLINGTON – Speed dating events, and other singles’ mingles have been put on hold during the “stay home – stay safe” era, but after yesterday’s announcement from Gov. Phil Scott that allows people who have been self-quarantined to visit others who have also self-quarantined, dating sites are preparing for a new normal., which has not set any specific dates for singles events at this time, has added two new searchable criteria: “recovered from/immune to coronavirus” and “wear a hazmat suit on first date.”

“We’re excited about these changes,” said representative Mary Meeser. “As singles get back out into the world, they want some assurances that dating is going to be safe. They want to know whether or not the person whose face they are about to touch has been exposed to COVID-19, if they need full bod protection during their encounters, especially if they are planning to become intimate less than six feet apart.”

eHarmony has added a “compromised immune system” checkbox for their profiles, and Tinder is offering “full body sanitizer” to anyone who successfully swipes right.

“It ain’t just their hands that’s gonna need sanitizin’ you know,” said site rep Doug Stile.

Vermonters are embracing these new additions in the hopes that, one day, they will embrace another human.

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