Vermont Legislature Rations Constituent Call-Ins

MONTPELIER – In the wake of retail stores rationing amounts of toilet paper, meat products and other necessities, the Vermont Senate and House have voted to limit constituent calls. Representative Ida Phone, of Scott’s Gore, proposed the measure after dozens of calls from Vermonters complaining that they were unable to reach Employment Security to file claims. “This just seemed reasonable after they told frustrated Vermonters to call their legislators” she stated. “Besides they are too busy screening out of state residents for $10,000.00 relocation grants.”

Statehouse Sergeant at Arms Mike House, who is tasked with enforcement of the measure called it the first true rationing bill since WWII. Reached at his acorn plantation in Putney, House stated, “I will refer verified complaints to the Commissioner of Public Safety and Attorney General for action. After all, legislators should not be over-burdened by calls while they are manipulating how to spend the 1.5 Billion Dollars in COVID-19 relief Vermont received.”

House Semi-Minority Leader Silas Lamotte says that a “slew” of new rationing measures are being proposed so legislators will not be bombarded by emails, text messages, Skype, Zoom or other social media methods of communication. Lamotte added “We are not so concerned about snail mail, as most Vermonters can no longer afford stamps.”