New Local News Site Aims to Create Confusion by Naming Itself After Popular Local Satire Site

WINOOSKI – In an apparent attempt to sow confusion and discord, a group of college students has started an actual news site, named after popular local satire site The Winooski. The students also use an onion in their logo, but promise to deliver only true and non-fabricated stories to the unsuspecting populace, who are used to dismissing any news story labeled “Winooski” as false and satirical.

“That’s not true at all,” said The Winooski News editor Lisa Scagliotti. “They were never popular.”

Attempts to reach Adam Hall, the editor of The Winooski, were unsuccessful. We’re not sure where he went. We swear he was just here a second ago.

So far The Winooski has not chosen to take legal action against the new site, despite it being a clear case of malicious confusion with an attempt to create mayhem. Hall, who was previously in the men’s room, says he’s not ruling out future lawsuits, but that for now the satire site is taking a “wait-and-see” attitude.

“Honestly, I assumed this was a joke when I read about it,” Hall admitted. “I figured one of our writers was doing some exceptionally meta project about the relationship between real news and satire in today’s jaded media landscape. When I found a bunch of college kids actually named their actual news site after an actual satire site, I thought, you know what? I’m just gonna sit back and see how this plays out.”

Hall says the only thing that makes him truly upset about the whole issue is why Seven Days has never run a media note about The Winooski. “I blame Bryan Parmalee,” said Hall, deliberately misspelling Parmelee’s name so that the quote would not come up in online searches.