Scarf Industry Braces For Rough Season After Learning Cloth Cuts Off Oxygen to Face

JOHNSON – Scarf makers in Vermont, as well as some ski supply retailers, are bracing for what looks to be a devastating economic downtown after it was recently revealed that any sort of covering on a person’s face makes it impossible for them to breathe. Scarf makers say they are surprised and saddened to hear this news, and that they have not had any such complaints in the past.

“I was horrified,” said Corbin D’Awkside, manager of the Johnson Woolen Mills store. “We’ve been selling cloth facial coverings for years, and we had no idea that it was literally killing everyone who purchased one. No one has ever complained that they can’t breathe in one of our scarves, and I figured it was because they enjoyed the product. I realize now that it was because they were dead.”

Some manufacturers are trying to get ahead of the new trend by selling scarves with holes cut out for the face, although research has shown that these new faceless scarves are nowhere near as warm as the traditional mouth and nose covering scarf.

Ski supply shops are also concerned, as they too sell many items to skiers that cover both the nose and mouth. Some skiers wear these mask for hours at a time while on the slopes, and it is now thought to be the leading cause of death and injury while on the slopes.

“You hear every year about some skier who hits a tree and doesn’t make it,” says Pat Powter, who works at Smuggler’s Notch. “We never would have guessed it was because of the lack of oxygen to their brains caused by covering their nose and mouth while skiing. Obviously we feel terrible, and we are stopping the sale of all protective gear for the face, but it’s going to hit us financially. We sold a lot of those items, because people used to think they added to the safety, and I guess folks thought safety was important.”