Police Unsure How to Handle Armed White Man Wearing BLM Shirt

KENOSHA – Kenosha police were baffled this weekend when a white man holding an assault rifle donned a “Black Lives Matter” t-shirt and joined in a local protest. Officers say that they normally shoot people people wearing BLM items, but they have a strict policy to do nothing to white men pointing weapons at them.

“It was super confusing,” says Officer Todd Lee Byast, who was patrolling the area near the protests when the incident happened. “We saw this militia looking dude pull up in a pickup truck, jump out with a AR-15, and start shouting and waving it around. That seemed pretty normal, and I was going over to give some some water and snacks and stuff in case he needed to keep his energy up, but then he turned around and I saw it. He was wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt, and the stuff he was yelling, it wasn’t racist or derogatory at all. I had no idea what to do.”

Witnesses say that protestor Christian Walker joined in the front lines and began shouting things like “Justice for Jacob” and “Police Accountability” while pointing his weapon at police and other white supremacists in the area. “We were confused at first too,” said organizer Don Killmee. “We were about to run for our lives, but Christian’s actually a good guy. He said he was there to protect us from the militias.”

Police officers are looking for clarification from higher-ups as to whether or not they should murder Walker when he’s not looking, or give him a gift certificate to Texas Roadhouse as a thank you for being angry and white.