UVM Fraternity Goes Bankrupt After Throwing Kegger with Foam Microbrew
BURLINGTON – UVM fraternity Iota Rho Alpha’s latest rager has forced them to file bankruptcy, sources report. While other frat houses fill their kegs with cheap […]
Articles by Connor Batsimm
We Tried to Get Bernie’s Staffers to Write an Anonymous Editorial, but They All Really Like Him So It Came Out Super Boring
WASHINGTON DC – The New York Times made a big splash with its op-ed from an anonymous member of the Trump administration, and that got us […]
Cheating the System: When VT Outlawed Weed-Gifting, this Innovative Smoke Shop Started a Cannabis Yankee Swap
SOUTH BURLINGTON – Last Monday, Vermont’s Attorney General T.J. Donovan was a total narc and made it illegal for businesses to provide their customers with free […]
Larry David to Run for Bernie Sanders’ Senate Seat
BROOKLYN – In a move that experts are calling “pretty, pretty, pretty good,” Brooklynite comedian Larry David has announced his bid for the Vermont senate […]
Colchester Causeway Renovated into Vermont’s First Monster Truck Path
COLCHESTER – After several months of closure and subsequent reconstruction, the Colchester Causeway is back, bigger and better than ever before. Officials are stoked to announce […]
Coming to the Shelburne Museum: Spin Doctors & the Vermont Gregorian Chant Schola
SHELBURNE – This July, the Shelburne Museum is hosting a combined performance from alternative rock group Guster and the Vermont Symphony Orchestra, the first in its […]