Burlington Combats Police Violence With Police Violins
BURLINGTON – Think of a police quartet singing “Moonlight In Vermont” on Church Street on a Friday evening. The Burlington Police Commission has adopted a […]
Burlington
Burlington Mayor Too Late to Join Battery Park Protestors
In a “Dear Organizers” letter to protest organizers, dated September 4, Mayor Weinberger announced his support for black lives. A mayor’s office insider told this […]
College Students Struggle Romantically During Pandemic
BURLINGTON – Colleges across America are experiencing a significant reduction in opportunities for the traditional intermingling of the various genders. Dances called off; mixers postponed […]
Who Ya Gonna Call? – Partybusters Squad Forms in Burlington
BURLINGTON – Colleges in Vermont are making rigorous efforts to break up student parties. As the weather gets colder the parties will descend indoors. The […]
Burlington Company Releases Edible Face Masks
BURLINGTON – Burlington’s CityPlace may have found new life as City Council engages in top secret negotiations with a business as experimental and entrepreneurial as […]
UVM Places Cardboard Cutouts of Students in Classrooms
BURLINGTON – As those watching baseball know, life-sized cardboard cutouts of pictures of fans sitting in the stands is all the rage. Now, with socially […]
Masks and the Alfred E. Neuman Effect
BURLINGTON – The effect of wearing masks is already beginning to manifest in children born in China. OBGYNs expect the phenomenon to show up in […]
F-35s and BlackHawks Buzz UVM Green
BURLINGTON – A Friday, August 14 press conference organized by Burlington City Councilors turned into a melee after President Trump ordered a military response to […]
Burlington City Center Wasteland To Become Massive Flower Garden
BURLINGTON – With the popular cheese plan failing to fully coagulate, acting Burlington City Horticulturalist Rose Dahlia has engineered a plan to plant massive amounts […]
Burlington City Council Considering Proposal to Mold the Biggest Block of VT Cheddar Ever
BURLINGTON – With the confirmation that CityPlace is never, and was never, going to be built, Burlington City Council is fielding new proposals for use […]