Police Unsure How to Handle Armed White Man Wearing BLM Shirt
KENOSHA – Kenosha police were baffled this weekend when a white man holding an assault rifle donned a “Black Lives Matter” t-shirt and joined in […]
National
Jerry Falwell Jr. Resigns to Focus on the Family, Pool Boy
LYNCHBURG – Despite repeated denials in regards to leaving his role at Liberty University, Jerry Falwell Jr. announced that he is indeed stepping down to […]
Trump Wants to Ban More Than Just TikTok
WASHINGTON – After declaring that he will ban popular internet application TikTok, Temporary President Trump tweeted that he plans to ban many more apps, especially […]
Biden Seeks To Appoint Vice Presidential Squad, Hopes to Have Several Running Mates
WASHINGTON – In an unprecedented decision, in an effort to appeal to more voters, Joe Biden has asked for a vice presidential “squad” rather than […]
Trump Challenges Burr Descendants to a Duel
WASHINGTON – Temporary U.S. President Donald Trump has announced this week that he is challenging a descendant of former Vice President Aaron Burr to a […]
Darwin Awards Website Melts Down with Overload of New Applicants
Officials at the prestigious, but one-time-only, Darwin Awards, have announced big problems with their website page that accepts applications. The Darwin awards recognize those who […]
Judgmental White People Angry Over Non-Sports Related Riots
DENVER – The city of Denver, CO, pictured above during the 1998 riots that followed the first Broncos Super Bowl win, has released a statement […]
White House Plans to Fatten the Curve
WASHINGTON – At first glance it would not seem that the present occupant of the White House would need any fattening, but that depends on […]
Vermonters Heading to Georgia For Haircuts, Tattoos
SOUTH BURLINGTON – The GET ME OUT OF HERE Travel Agency has arranged a charter from Burlington International Airport nonstop to Hartsfield International Airport in […]
Trump Says Stay at Overpriced Golf Resort “Might” Cure COVID-19
WASHINGTON – At his daily press briefing yesterday, Temporary President Trump suggested that a stay at a few specially selected overpriced golf resorts should be […]