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National

President Trump Nominates Himself to Fill Justice Ginsburg’s Seat

September 21, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In a move that some called “surprising,” and others called “inevitable,” Temporary President Trump has nominated himself to be appointed to the Supreme […]

Police Unsure How to Handle Armed White Man Wearing BLM Shirt

August 31, 2020 The Winooski 0

KENOSHA – Kenosha police were baffled this weekend when a white man holding an assault rifle donned a “Black Lives Matter” t-shirt and joined in […]

Jerry Falwell Jr. Resigns to Focus on the Family, Pool Boy

August 26, 2020 The Winooski 0

LYNCHBURG – Despite repeated denials in regards to leaving his role at Liberty University, Jerry Falwell Jr. announced that he is indeed stepping down to […]

Trump Wants to Ban More Than Just TikTok

August 18, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – After declaring that he will ban popular internet application TikTok, Temporary President Trump tweeted that he plans to ban many more apps, especially […]

Biden Seeks To Appoint Vice Presidential Squad, Hopes to Have Several Running Mates

August 15, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In an unprecedented decision, in an effort to appeal to more voters, Joe Biden has asked for a vice presidential “squad” rather than […]

Trump Challenges Burr Descendants to a Duel

August 7, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Temporary U.S. President Donald Trump has announced this week that he is challenging a descendant of former Vice President Aaron Burr to a […]

Darwin Awards Website Melts Down with Overload of New Applicants

July 2, 2020 The Winooski 0

Officials at the prestigious, but one-time-only, Darwin Awards, have announced big problems with their website page that accepts applications. The Darwin awards recognize those who […]

Judgmental White People Angry Over Non-Sports Related Riots

June 1, 2020 The Winooski 0

DENVER – The city of Denver, CO, pictured above during the 1998 riots that followed the first Broncos Super Bowl win, has released a statement […]

White House Plans to Fatten the Curve

May 20, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – At first glance it would not seem that the present occupant of the White House would need any fattening, but that depends on […]

Vermonters Heading to Georgia For Haircuts, Tattoos

April 29, 2020 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – The GET ME OUT OF HERE Travel Agency has arranged a charter from Burlington International Airport nonstop to Hartsfield International Airport in […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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