The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

  • Home
  • Vermont Life
    • Burlington
    • Montpelier
    • Southern Vermont
  • National
  • South Canada
  • Syrup & Cows
  • Contact

National

Trump Says Stay at Overpriced Golf Resort “Might” Cure COVID-19

April 25, 2020 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – At his daily press briefing yesterday, Temporary President Trump suggested that a stay at a few specially selected overpriced golf resorts should be […]

Trump Delays Cash Stimulus Payments So He Can Put His Face on the Bills

April 17, 2020 The Winooski 3

WASHINGTON – Amid controversies surrounding Temporary President Trump’s decision to delay stimulus checks so that he could have his name printed on them, the National […]

In Solidarity with Bernie, Joe Biden Suspends Presidential Campaign

April 9, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – In a surprising move of support for his fellow candidate, Democratic presidential hopeful Joe Biden has suspended his campaign after saying that continuing […]

Trump Strongly Considering Sentencing Mike Flynn to Shaking Hands with Members of the Administration

April 3, 2020 The Winooski 1

WASHINGTON – After a sentencing delay due to the Coronavirus pandemic, former national security adviser Michael Flynn’s fate is currently in limbo. Flynn is hoping […]

Princess Cruise Passengers Get Free 2-Week Trip Extension and Private Room Upgrades

March 9, 2020 The Winooski 0

OAKLAND – With the State Department now recommending that people avoid going on cruises, Princess Cruise Line is offsetting that potentially devastating news with fabulous […]

Vermont Astronomers Notice Mike Bloomberg Ad on Side of ISS

February 29, 2020 The Winooski 0

HINESBURG – Members of the Vermont Astronomical Society have reported seeing a Mike Bloomberg campaign advertisement plastered to the side of the International Space Station […]

Topless Protesters Disrupt Sanders Campaign Rally, Prompting Other Candidates to Demand the Same Treatment

February 19, 2020 The Winooski 2

CARSON CITY – After topless protesters took the stage at a Bernie Sanders rally this week, other presidential candidates are crying foul, saying they want […]

Tom Brady Signs 2-Year, $70 Million Deal With Hulu

February 3, 2020 The Winooski 0

BOSTON – In a shocking reveal on Sunday evening, NFL star Tom Brady announced that he has signed a deal with Hulu to keep streaming […]

In Keeping With White House Policy, Donald Trump Denies Existence of Greta Thunberg

January 23, 2020 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON – Per the White House policy on climate change and climate change activism, Temporary President (TP) Donald Trump denied the existence of Greta Thunberg […]

Vermont Once Again Shut Out of Best Director Category

January 13, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – When the 92nd annual Academy Award nominations were announced this morning, there was no cry of shock when the best director contenders were […]

Posts navigation

« 1 2 3 4 … 16 »

The Winooski E-mail Updates!

Check out the best of The Winooski over at VTDigger!

Other Places to Find Us

  • View thewinooski’s profile on Facebook
  • View thefakewinooski’s profile on Twitter
  • View thewinooski’s profile on Instagram

Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Strangest Laws in Vermont - Liner Law on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • 2inscrutable on Breaking News: Other States Also Have Weather
  • Robert on Six Weird Vermont Laws You Have to Read to Believe
  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue
  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

Back Issues

Copyright © 2023 | WordPress Theme by MH Themes