The Winooski

The Winooski

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Vermont Life

Local Man Switches Out Winter Tires, Causes April Snowstorm

April 21, 2021 The Winooski 1

WHITINGHAM – A local man is apologizing to friends and neighbors today after setting off a snow storm in April. Dan Gnabbit, of Whitingham, went […]

Vermont Schools to Abollish Speling

March 1, 2021 The Winooski 2

WEBSTERVILLE – The Education Department is considering removing Spelling from schooling requirements as computer Spell-Check has taken over error control. Rhea Moats, Director of Remote […]

Skiers Won’t Have to Hold It In

January 13, 2021 The Winooski 0

KILLINGTON – Vermont ski resorts are desperately seeking ways toto attract skiers notwithstanding the Governor’s strict COVID precautions. The common watch word these days is […]

Vermonters Concerned That 2021 is Eerily Similar to 2020

January 4, 2021 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – After having lived through several days of 2021, some Vermonters are expressing concerns that the year resembles 2020 more closely than they expected. […]

2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At

December 31, 2020 The Winooski 0

Remember back in 2019? When we thought, “what a bad year we’ve had,” and couldn’t wait for 2020 to get started? What is it the […]

Thousands of Vermonters Now Apparently Working For the Gall-Danged Power Company

December 24, 2020 The Winooski 0

ESSEX – It has come to the attention of The Winooski staff that thousands upon thousands of Vermonters must have suddenly gotten jobs with the […]

State Explores Unifying All School Districts

December 11, 2020 The Winooski 3

MONTPELIER – After it was reported that Vermont is considering a unification of all of its state colleges last week, new information has come out […]

Satire Writers Struggle to Find Something To Write About That Isn’t the Pandemic

December 1, 2020 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – After many complaints (and a few messages of thanks) regarding their smaller output recently, writers of premiere local satire site The Winooski have […]

Lake Champlain Renamed After Complaints from Abenaki Natives

November 9, 2020 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – After protests by local Abenaki natives, both Vermont and New York have agreed to rename Lake Champlain, erasing the stain of white supremacy […]

Tourist Family Rescued After Being Trapped In Waterbury Roundabout For Three Days

August 11, 2020 The Winooski 0

WATERBURY – It was a scary seventy-two hours for the Wayfarer family of Harlan, Kentucky who recently followed their onboard G.P.S. system into the Waterbury […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
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  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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