Hypocritical Buses Promote Seatbelts as Passengers Flounce Unrestrained
BURLINGTON – In a bizarrely passive aggressive move by Green Mountain Transit, many Chittenden County buses are now displaying messages that read “Seatbelts Save Lives,” […]
Burlington
UVM to Provide Hi-Tech Shades for Short-Sighted President
BURLINGTON – According to leaked classified documents, the University of Vermont Medical Center may be announcing a collaboration between its Department of Ophthalmology and The […]
Lake Monsters Promotional Giveaway Causes Confusion
BURLINGTON – Centennial field became a temporary junkyard Sunday evening as fans confused over the evening’s special promotion tried to drop off bins and boxes […]
Tornado Drops House of Kansas Republican Onto Burlington
BURLINGTON – In a freak twist of nature, a tornado swept across the country this week, carrying debris from as far away as New Mexico […]
Burlington Decriminalizes Stabbings
BURLINGTON – In response to a second downtown stabbing attack this year, the city of Burlington has acted quickly to decriminalize violent assault with a […]
First UMC Burlington Installs Harry Potter Themed Windows
BURLINGTON – In a growing competition amongst downtown churches, each looking to capture the coveted youth demographic, Burlington’s First United Methodist Church has made an […]
Jane Sanders Looks to Bankrupt More Colleges to Boost Bernie’s Presidential Qualifications
BURLINGTON – Jane Sanders, wife of Vermont Senator and former presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, still believes deeply that her husband will become President one day. […]
Burlington Resident Selling Soul For $6000
BURLINGTON – According to popular regional commerce site Craigslist, a resident of Burlington is selling their soul for $6,499. They claim in the listing that […]
New North End Residents Vote to Close Pine Street South of Maple Street
BURLINGTON – In a controversial vote this week, residents of the New North End of Burlington voted overwhelmingly to close traffic on Pine Street south […]
Gov. Scott Opens Up Church Street For Racing
BURLINGTON – In what many are calling a controversial move, Vermont Governor Phil Scott has turned the once pedestrian-friendly Church Street Marketplace into a strip […]