Trump Acknowledges Border Wall Limitations, Now Hoping to Add Roof
WASHINGTON DC – After several criticisms regarding the ineffectiveness of a border wall, President Trump has agreed that the proposed security measure does not go […]
Washington
Clinton, Sanders, Reportedly Hoping to Repeat Biggest Failures of Their Lives
WASHINGTON – Former Presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are both considering another failed run at the presidency in 2020. according to sources inside […]
White House to Text New U2 Album To All U.S. Citizens This Afternoon
WASHINGTON DC – In a partnership that President Trump is calling “the best partnership in the history of America ever,” the White House will be […]
Judge Annuls Kavanaugh Marriage After Ashley Kavanaugh Shows No Wedding on Her Calendar
WASHINGTON DC – A federal judge yesterday annuled the wedding of Brett and Ashley Kavanaugh when the former Mrs. Kavanaugh produced a calendar from 2004 […]
Following Vermont’s Lead, Trump Declares Moscow “U.S. Capitol For a Day”
WASHINGTON DC – Phil Scott, the Republican governor of Vermont, has been spending his summer traveling the state in what he calls the “Vermont Capitol […]
Trump Bombs F-35s for Vermont Air National Guard
WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump announced today that he has cancelled the F-35 deployment to the Vermont Air National Guard. According to our sources, Trump […]
Champ Becomes EPA Director as Trump Fills Cabinet with Actual Monsters
WASHINGTON DC – US President Donald “The Donald” Trump has appointed local Vermont sea monster Champ to fill the role of Director of the Environmental […]
Trump’s Recent Comments Intended as Tribute to Dick Cheney’s Comments to Leahy
WASHINGTON DC – In recent weeks President Trump’s White House has had to parse what the POTUS really means when he says what he says. […]
Vermonters Not Constitutionally Guaranteed U.S. Citizenship
WASHINGTON DC – A federal court found this week that people born in Vermont are not guaranteed U.S. citizenship by the Constitution. After a lengthy […]
VT Delegation Opposes Dolores Umbridge as SCOTUS Nominee
WASHINGTON DC – Vermont’s delegation in Washington had some harsh words for U.S. President Donald Trump’s pick for the Supreme Court position soon to be […]