The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Vermonters Concerned That 2021 is Eerily Similar to 2020

January 4, 2021 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – After having lived through several days of 2021, some Vermonters are expressing concerns that the year resembles 2020 more closely than they expected. […]

Satire Writers Struggle to Find Something To Write About That Isn’t the Pandemic

December 1, 2020 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – After many complaints (and a few messages of thanks) regarding their smaller output recently, writers of premiere local satire site The Winooski have […]

New Local News Site Aims to Create Confusion by Naming Itself After Popular Local Satire Site

July 6, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – In an apparent attempt to sow confusion and discord, a group of college students has started an actual news site, named after popular […]

Local Satire Site Tries to Distance Itself From Recent Covid Outbreak

June 10, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski released a statement this week, attempting to assure its readers that there was absolutely no connection […]

Vermonters Begin to Reintegrate Into Society

May 18, 2020 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – As retail establishments begin to open up this week, many Vermonters are zipping up their enormous protective bubbles and heading back to work. […]

Guide For the Downwardly Mobile – Part 2

May 8, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – We have received many notes of gratitude for our post containing tips for survival in the upcoming depression-era economy, and so we have […]

The Winooski’s Guide For the Downwardly Mobile

May 6, 2020 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – Now that Covid-19 is chugging along nicely, the country as a whole can get back to planning for its domestic survival in the […]

New UVM Study Shows F-35 Noise Can Be Harvested to Kill Coronavirus

April 30, 2020 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – UVM announced today that mechanical engineering Professor Carina Firus submitted a paper for peer review and publication in Virology with results of supercomputer […]

Covid-19 Can Be Cured With CBD Oil, Says Local Pothead

April 21, 2020 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – A stunning announcement has rocked the medical world this week, as it was revealed that the current deadly plague of Covid-19 can be […]

Vermont’s High School Seniors No Longer Upset About Losing Graduation After Seeing Old Pictures of Their Parents’ Friends

April 14, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – After Governor Phil Scott announced that Vermont’s schools would remain closed for the remainder of the school year, there was a sense of […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

Recent Comments

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  • Randy Fullam on Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue

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