Local Students Attempt to Run Mock Trial Without Calling Any Witnesses

BOLTON – As the Senate contemplates whether to call witnesses in the impeachment trial of Temporary President Donald Trump, local teacher Peach Imm has also vacillated on whether to let her students call pertinent people to the stand as her class re-enacts the so-called Scopes Monkey trial, which debated the legality of teaching evolution as science in the classroom.

“I’m confused,” stated Imm’s student Whit Ness, who is playing the part of a prosecutor. “I thought people were supposed to take the stand?”

Wheelchair user and lead defense attorney Court Mei, argued, “Nobody should take the stand because I myself can’t stand up.”

Ness accused Mei of “trying to derail lesson plans while ranting about ableism.”

Mei tweeted to her fellow classmates about Ness: “I’m at my wit’s end; Whit’s not making one whit of sense.”

Upon receiving the text, Ms. Peach Imm, groaned, threw up her hands, and gave the trial and her class a recess.

Image Credits: U.S. Army Garrison Rheinland-Pfalz.

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