Local Man Unsure If He Has A Gym Membership
ESSEX JUNCTION – As the holiday season rushes forward and brings us into the new year, one local man is having trouble remembering whether or […]
Vermont Life
Local Satire Site Becomes Irrelevant After Failing to Be Podcast
WINOOSKI – The once proud flagship of the local satire scene, The Winooski was declared officially irrelevant this week after it was convicted of not […]
UVM Completes Purchase of Last Independent Health Care Facility in State, Moves on to Hotels
SOUTH BURLINGTON – With the hostile takeover of a small eye doctor’s office, the University of Vermont now owns every single health care office in […]
Sleep Scientists Lobby For Holiday Where Everyone Takes a Long Nap
BROOKFIELD – Researchers at the Brookfield Facility for the Fatigued (BFF) are pushing Vermont to recognize a new holiday – one that would recognize and […]
Multi-Agency Initiative to Put Ticks, State Debt into Newport’s Downtown Hole
NEWPORT – In an announcement dropped between Thanksgiving and Christmas, when Vermonters are paying the most attention to the news, Governor Scott spoke today about […]
Vermont Prepares to Swap Population With New York, New Jersey
WINOOSKI – Today marks the first day in a three-to-five-day experiment that will see Vermont swap up to 50% of its population with residents of […]
New Survey Shows 100% of Vermonters Hold Moderate Political Views
WINOOSKI – In a shocking new survey, results show that the “liberal” state of Vermont is full of moderates. Even in the more “conservative” rural […]
VT Department of Health Cautions Residents Against Making Snow Angels After Reports of Ticks Wearing Tiny Coats and Hats
MONTPELIER – Children across the state are being warned against lying down in the snow by the Vermont Department of Health, thanks to new reports […]
Flat Vermont Movement Gains Traction as Many Believe Green Mountains Are Fake
WINOOSKI – If you ask Lou Minotti whether he believes that Vermont’s green mountains are real, he’ll sigh and look up at you with sad […]
Disney Apologizes for Forgetting to Turn Off Its “Tuesday Storm” Setting
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has issued an apology to the state of Vermont for causing a second missed day of school two […]