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Vermont Life

Local Man Unsure If He Has A Gym Membership

December 9, 2019 The Winooski 0

ESSEX JUNCTION – As the holiday season rushes forward and brings us into the new year, one local man is having trouble remembering whether or […]

Local Satire Site Becomes Irrelevant After Failing to Be Podcast

December 6, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – The once proud flagship of the local satire scene, The Winooski was declared officially irrelevant this week after it was convicted of not […]

UVM Completes Purchase of Last Independent Health Care Facility in State, Moves on to Hotels

December 3, 2019 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – With the hostile takeover of a small eye doctor’s office, the University of Vermont now owns every single health care office in […]

Sleep Scientists Lobby For Holiday Where Everyone Takes a Long Nap

December 2, 2019 The Winooski 0

BROOKFIELD – Researchers at the Brookfield Facility for the Fatigued (BFF) are pushing Vermont to recognize a new holiday – one that would recognize and […]

Multi-Agency Initiative to Put Ticks, State Debt into Newport’s Downtown Hole

November 29, 2019 The Winooski 0

NEWPORT – In an announcement dropped between Thanksgiving and Christmas, when Vermonters are paying the most attention to the news, Governor Scott spoke today about […]

Vermont Prepares to Swap Population With New York, New Jersey

November 27, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Today marks the first day in a three-to-five-day experiment that will see Vermont swap up to 50% of its population with residents of […]

New Survey Shows 100% of Vermonters Hold Moderate Political Views

November 26, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – In a shocking new survey, results show that the “liberal” state of Vermont is full of moderates. Even in the more “conservative” rural […]

VT Department of Health Cautions Residents Against Making Snow Angels After Reports of Ticks Wearing Tiny Coats and Hats

November 22, 2019 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Children across the state are being warned against lying down in the snow by the Vermont Department of Health, thanks to new reports […]

Flat Vermont Movement Gains Traction as Many Believe Green Mountains Are Fake

November 20, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – If you ask Lou Minotti whether he believes that Vermont’s green mountains are real, he’ll sigh and look up at you with sad […]

Disney Apologizes for Forgetting to Turn Off Its “Tuesday Storm” Setting

November 19, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has issued an apology to the state of Vermont for causing a second missed day of school two […]

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Recent Posts

  • OBITUARY: Cameron “Cam” N. Zintz (1941-2019) December 11, 2019
  • VT Senate Considers Banning “Assault Style” Weapons in “Senate Style” Areas December 10, 2019
  • Local Man Unsure If He Has A Gym Membership December 9, 2019
  • Syrup & Cows #131 – 12/8/19 – The Future December 8, 2019
  • Republicans Cut School Lunch For Baby Yoda December 7, 2019

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