The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Vermont Life

Scarf Industry Braces For Rough Season After Learning Cloth Cuts Off Oxygen to Face

July 21, 2020 The Winooski 0

JOHNSON – Scarf makers in Vermont, as well as some ski supply retailers, are bracing for what looks to be a devastating economic downtown after […]

New Local News Site Aims to Create Confusion by Naming Itself After Popular Local Satire Site

July 6, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – In an apparent attempt to sow confusion and discord, a group of college students has started an actual news site, named after popular […]

VTRANS Gives Okay to Graffiti Artists

July 3, 2020 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Vermont Transportation (VTRANS) official Graff Vitti says there is no problem with painting signs and pictures on bridges and street signs as long […]

Towns Asked to Defund Police Departments, Even If They Don’t Have One

June 30, 2020 The Winooski 0

RANDOLPH – The Coalition Of Intellectual Liberals (C.O.I.L.) of Vermont has requested that towns without police forces show support for the defunding of police by […]

Local Satire Site Tries to Distance Itself From Recent Covid Outbreak

June 10, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski released a statement this week, attempting to assure its readers that there was absolutely no connection […]

Barre Police Promises to Work For Racial Justice By Killing More White People

June 5, 2020 The Winooski 0

BARRE – In response to the nationwide outrage and protests after the murder of George Floyd at the hands of police, the city of Barre, […]

Vermonters Begin to Reintegrate Into Society

May 18, 2020 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – As retail establishments begin to open up this week, many Vermonters are zipping up their enormous protective bubbles and heading back to work. […]

Guide For the Downwardly Mobile – Part 2

May 8, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – We have received many notes of gratitude for our post containing tips for survival in the upcoming depression-era economy, and so we have […]

The Winooski’s Guide For the Downwardly Mobile

May 6, 2020 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – Now that Covid-19 is chugging along nicely, the country as a whole can get back to planning for its domestic survival in the […]

Aliens No Longer Probing Humans Due to Health Risks

May 4, 2020 The Winooski 0

BLOOMFIELD – Despite being the state friendliest to extraterrestrial visitors (Vermont leads the U.S. in UFO sightings), fewer Vermonters are being probed these days, and […]

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Recent Posts

  • Vermont Schools to Abollish Speling March 1, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #195 – 2/28/21 – Spring Weather February 28, 2021
  • Barbershops and Hair Salons Proposed as Vaccination Sites February 22, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #194 – 2/21/21 – Mars February 21, 2021
  • Burlington Mayoral Candidates Debate the Issues with The Winooski February 19, 2021

Recent Comments

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  • Mark Demers on Syrup & Cows #191 – 1/31/21 – Redundant
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  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on Vermont Sends Gift Basket to Iran, Asks to Be Left Out of Revenge Plans
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on 2019: A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year Ever

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