The Winooski’s Guide For the Downwardly Mobile
WINOOSKI – Now that Covid-19 is chugging along nicely, the country as a whole can get back to planning for its domestic survival in the […]
Vermont Life
Aliens No Longer Probing Humans Due to Health Risks
BLOOMFIELD – Despite being the state friendliest to extraterrestrial visitors (Vermont leads the U.S. in UFO sightings), fewer Vermonters are being probed these days, and […]
Even As COVID-19 Spread Slows, Manure Spreading Increases Among VT Farmers
MONTPELIER – The month of April ended with fewer reports of Vermonters infected by the novel coronavirus (COVID-19) that has altered life on a global […]
Covid-19 Can Be Cured With CBD Oil, Says Local Pothead
WINOOSKI – A stunning announcement has rocked the medical world this week, as it was revealed that the current deadly plague of Covid-19 can be […]
Vermont Solves Prison Over-Crowding Issue
SAINT ALBANS – Officials in Vermont are confirming that they will no longer need to ship prisoners out of state after a new solution has […]
Vermont’s High School Seniors No Longer Upset About Losing Graduation After Seeing Old Pictures of Their Parents’ Friends
WINOOSKI – After Governor Phil Scott announced that Vermont’s schools would remain closed for the remainder of the school year, there was a sense of […]
Thousands of Stay-At-Home Workers Are Discovering They Are Married
WINOOSKI – Forced by the corona virus pandemic to stay in their houses and work from home, thousands of American workers are now discovering that […]
“Bosom Buddy” Bra Mask Sales Soar
FAIR HAVEN – Facial mask maker Victoria Segreta, of the Fair Haven Recycler Company, is reporting a 3,000% jump in sales since her firm retooled […]
Style: Vermont’s Newest Hair Trend is Head Shaving
COLCHESTER – Lack of hair dressers has Vermonters shaving their heads bald, according to new reports coming in from Instagram and Snapchat. At the Saint […]
Release: The Winooski Lays Off Only Employee
WINOOSKI – Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski has been forced to lay off its only employee. Media organizations across the state have been […]