Guide For the Downwardly Mobile – Part 2

WINOOSKI – We have received many notes of gratitude for our post containing tips for survival in the upcoming depression-era economy, and so we have added a second part. Our source inside Burlington’s City Hall, who slipped us the tips for the original article, was happy to provide a few more sensible ideas for the coming months and years ahead. And so, for those of you who can’t seem to get enough baloney from local government to make do with the suggestions laid out previously, here are a few more ideas for your consumption.

It is an open secret among the poor that pet foods are perfectly fit for human consumption. Don’t be embarrassed to survey the huge selection in your supermarket — no one will suspect you are shopping for yourself and not for Fido or Kitty. There are so many choices that it may take a while to discover your favorite brands and flavors. No need to restrict yourselves to “gourmet” varieties. The “gourmet” label is simply a marketing device targeted at upscale pet owners. The contents are virtually the same as that of cheaper brands.

Dry dog or cat food travels well, and can be wetted down at public bathrooms at the rear of any surviving eatery. It is also ecological, since there is no can to dispose of. For the more affluent, canned cat food is probably your best bet. 9-Lives remains the trend setter, though it is virtually indistinguishable from other canned varieties. For an occasional treat, this writer recommends Sheba Moist Tender Chunks: Salmon Entree.

There do seem to be gender differences in the choice of food types, with men preferring dog food, and women, food for cats. For you He-Men out there, we can recommend Mighty Dog — Beef.

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