The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Vermonters Concerned That 2021 is Eerily Similar to 2020

January 4, 2021 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – After having lived through several days of 2021, some Vermonters are expressing concerns that the year resembles 2020 more closely than they expected. […]

Satire Writers Struggle to Find Something To Write About That Isn’t the Pandemic

December 1, 2020 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – After many complaints (and a few messages of thanks) regarding their smaller output recently, writers of premiere local satire site The Winooski have […]

New Local News Site Aims to Create Confusion by Naming Itself After Popular Local Satire Site

July 6, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – In an apparent attempt to sow confusion and discord, a group of college students has started an actual news site, named after popular […]

Local Satire Site Tries to Distance Itself From Recent Covid Outbreak

June 10, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski released a statement this week, attempting to assure its readers that there was absolutely no connection […]

Vermonters Begin to Reintegrate Into Society

May 18, 2020 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – As retail establishments begin to open up this week, many Vermonters are zipping up their enormous protective bubbles and heading back to work. […]

Guide For the Downwardly Mobile – Part 2

May 8, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – We have received many notes of gratitude for our post containing tips for survival in the upcoming depression-era economy, and so we have […]

The Winooski’s Guide For the Downwardly Mobile

May 6, 2020 The Winooski 2

WINOOSKI – Now that Covid-19 is chugging along nicely, the country as a whole can get back to planning for its domestic survival in the […]

New UVM Study Shows F-35 Noise Can Be Harvested to Kill Coronavirus

April 30, 2020 The Winooski 3

WINOOSKI – UVM announced today that mechanical engineering Professor Carina Firus submitted a paper for peer review and publication in Virology with results of supercomputer […]

Covid-19 Can Be Cured With CBD Oil, Says Local Pothead

April 21, 2020 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – A stunning announcement has rocked the medical world this week, as it was revealed that the current deadly plague of Covid-19 can be […]

Vermont’s High School Seniors No Longer Upset About Losing Graduation After Seeing Old Pictures of Their Parents’ Friends

April 14, 2020 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – After Governor Phil Scott announced that Vermont’s schools would remain closed for the remainder of the school year, there was a sense of […]

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Recent Posts

  • Vermont Schools to Abollish Speling March 1, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #195 – 2/28/21 – Spring Weather February 28, 2021
  • Barbershops and Hair Salons Proposed as Vaccination Sites February 22, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #194 – 2/21/21 – Mars February 21, 2021
  • Burlington Mayoral Candidates Debate the Issues with The Winooski February 19, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Hugh Kidden on Burlington Mayoral Candidates Debate the Issues with The Winooski
  • Mark Demers on Syrup & Cows #191 – 1/31/21 – Redundant
  • Johnny Canuck on Patriots Storm Vermont Capitol to Thank Governor for Hard Work and Dedication
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on Vermont Sends Gift Basket to Iran, Asks to Be Left Out of Revenge Plans
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on 2019: A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year Ever

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