Winooski Voters Confirm They Elected Kristine Lott Because Their Dogs Liked Her Better
WINOOSKI – Incoming Winooski mayor Kristine Lott, the first woman to hold the position, was elected 650-478 on Tuesday, largely in part to the opinions […]
Winooski
Fairfield Elects New Lord High Executioner, Burlington Votes to Abolish Church Street, and Other Town Meeting Day 2019 Results
The results are in! If you’re wondering how your town voted this year on that contentious ballot item, look no further than The Winooski. Here […]
Vermonters Concerned About Lack of Ballot Items Concerning Women’s Bodies
WINOOSKI – All across the state of Vermont today people are lining up to cast their votes on local issues and representation, but one topic […]
Satire Site Unable to Post Anything Funny About Abortion
WINOOSKI – The biggest news story of this week left many local satirists scratching their heads as to how to cover the passing of H.57 […]
State of Vermont Hires Explorers to Find Undiscovered Revenue Streams
WINOOSKI – Many Vermonters have been speculating about Governor Scott’s existing revenue streams that he mentioned in his second inaugural address this week, and which […]
Comedy Writers Sue Reality For Stealing Their Material
WINOOSKI – After years of grumbling and complaining, the writers of Vermont’s premiere satire site The Winooski have filed a lawsuit against reality claiming the theft […]
All Vermont Summer Camps Now Full For 2019 Season
WINOOSKI – To those parents who had hoped to send their children to camp next summer but haven’t yet secured a spot, you may just […]
Vermont Somehow Manages to Get Even Whiter
WINOOSKI – Vermont was recently ranked as the 49th most racially diverse state, which out of fifty is not a great score. This led many […]
Democrats Planning to Win Election Without Voting
WINOOSKI – Members of the Democratic party in Vermont are so confident that they are going to sweep the upcoming election that they have decided […]
Vermonters Attempt to Ward Off Evil Spirits By Dressing as Terrifying Creatures
WINOOSKI – The celebration of Halloween has morphed from its original spiritual roots to a commercialized festival of fun, following other notable holidays such as […]