Syrup & Cows #147 – 3/29/20 – Social Distancing
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Articles by The Winooski
4th Grader With Magic Lamp Claims No Responsibility for Schools Shutting Down
MIDDLETOWN SPRINGS – After Vermont Governor Phil Scott ordered all schools in the state shuttered for the remainder of the school year, many in the […]
Local Hoarder Takes Fictional Water Shortage Very Seriously
BURLINGTON – H.T. Oats started storing water after reading a Facebook post from a real doctor (of literature, not medicine, but still a smart guy) […]
Texas Governor Issues First Boomer Hunting Permits
AUSTIN – At the urging of Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, the state of Texas will issue its first ever hunting licenses to anyone wishing to […]
Vermont DMV Concerned Over Increased Auto-Immune Systems
MONTPELIER – Health care providers are encouraging Vermonters to exercise and walk more to bolster their auto-immune systems while isolated in their homes. DMV Director […]
South Canada Considers Closing Its Borders
SOUTH CANADA – South Canadian President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard announced this morning that she is considering closing the borders of the tiny country to foreign […]
Syrup & Cows #146 – 3/22/20 – Hoarding
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Vermont Governor Issues Order Closing All State Pokestops
MONTPELIER – Anyone out hunting Pokemon these days is going to have a tough time finding supplies after Vermont Governor Phil Scott ordered all Pokestops […]
Woodstock Bans COVID-19 Within Town Limits
WOODSTOCK – Woodstock has become the first Vermont community to ban COVID-19 by ordinance. Woodstock Town Manger Rocky Feller made the announcement following a Skype […]
Pope Confirms Virus is God’s Judgement Against Old White Dudes
VATICAN CITY – In a stunning message coming out of what can only be classified now as a disaster area, Pope Francis has announced that […]