Classical Music Purist Vigilantes Steal Modern Equipment From Chamber Music Festival
COLCHESTER – The police are currently on the lookout for members of a vigilante music group calling themselves “Da Capo,” believing them to be responsible […]
Articles by The Winooski
Citing Success of Banning Cellphones While Driving, Vermont Bans Cellphones
MONTPELIER – Travelers entering the state of Vermont will no longer be able to retain their mobile devices thanks to a new law passed this […]
Rebuffed by Denmark, Trump Announces Plans to Purchase Vermont
WASHINGTON – President Trump has cancelled his planned visit to Denmark after learning that Greenland is not for sale. We truly wish we were making […]
VT Legislators Decriminalize Embezzlement
MONTPELIER – Citing the rampant and common use of the practice, Vermont legislators have moved to decriminalize embezzlement, dropping the penalties from time in prison […]
Satire Writers Unsure If They Can Legally Record Court Case That Will Determine If They Can Legally Record Court Cases
WINOOSKI – New rules from the Vermont Judiciary that will restrict the recording of court cases have left some members of the media unsure about […]
Syrup & Cows #115 – 8/18/19 – Remote Worker Grant
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Burlington Moves to Simpler, Faster 10 Step/5 year Permitting Process
BURLINGTON – Responding to complaints from residents regarding the length and environmental impact of the permitting process, the Burlington City Council has approved a new […]
Sanders Leaning Towards Selecting Cardi B as VP if Nominated
DETROIT – VT Senator Bernie Sanders is close to selecting a candidate for vice-president were he to receive the Democratic nomination for president, and according […]
VT Addresses Booming Deer Population With Abstinence-Only Education for Fawns
BETHEL – In a compromise with the VT House, Governor Phil Scott has agreed to address the state’s rising deer population with a series of […]
Governor Names Trey Anastasio as Incoming Phish & Wildlife Commissioner
MONTPELIER – Governor Phil Scott announced today that he will appoint musician Trey Anastasio to replace retiring Phish and Wildlife Commissioner Nectar Rorris when Rorris […]