New Food Labels Aim to Lower Stress By Downplaying Calorie Counts
WASHINGTON – Food and Drug Administration (FDA) Commissioner Stephen Hahn has announced new guidelines for food labeling. “In line with the Trump Administration’s belief that […]
Articles by The Winooski
Syrup & Cows #177 – 10/25/20 – Things Suck
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Burlington Combats Police Violence With Police Violins
BURLINGTON – Think of a police quartet singing “Moonlight In Vermont” on Church Street on a Friday evening. The Burlington Police Commission has adopted a […]
Syrup & Cows #176 – 10/18/20 – Pick Your Own
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Masks and Your DNA – CDC Issues New Guidelines
WASHINGTON – In news that has shocked the medical establishment and promises to create more confusion than already exists, the CDC has released new guidelines […]
Burlington Mayor Too Late to Join Battery Park Protestors
In a “Dear Organizers” letter to protest organizers, dated September 4, Mayor Weinberger announced his support for black lives. A mayor’s office insider told this […]
Syrup & Cows #175 – 10/11/20 – All or Nothing
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
College Students Struggle Romantically During Pandemic
BURLINGTON – Colleges across America are experiencing a significant reduction in opportunities for the traditional intermingling of the various genders. Dances called off; mixers postponed […]
Syrup & Cows #174 – 10/4/20 – Halloween Dreams
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Leaked Audio Confirms Trump Intentionally Got COVID-19 in an Attempt to Infect Joe Biden
WASHINGTON – In a newly released audio recording, which we were originally going to call “shocking,” but, let’s be honest, nothing is shocking anymore, Temporary […]