Trump Signs Executive Order Making “Democrat” a Nationality
WASHINGTON – In what is being billed as an effort to reduce anti-liberalism, Temporary President Trump has signed an executive order recognizing “Democrat” as a […]
Articles by The Winooski
OBITUARY: Cameron “Cam” N. Zintz (1941-2019)
Cameron “Cam” Nathan Zintz left this world on December 10th, 2019 after a long battle with many idiots. He is survived by his two children, […]
VT Senate Considers Banning “Assault Style” Weapons in “Senate Style” Areas
MONTPELIER – Members of the Vermont Senate will consider a bill in 2020 that would adjust the state’s relatively lax guns laws by banning semi-automatic […]
Local Man Unsure If He Has A Gym Membership
ESSEX JUNCTION – As the holiday season rushes forward and brings us into the new year, one local man is having trouble remembering whether or […]
Syrup & Cows #131 – 12/8/19 – The Future
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Republicans Cut School Lunch For Baby Yoda
SORGAN – Many seemed unconcerned over the Trump Administration’s decision to remove the food safety net from nearly 700,000 Americans this week. The move could […]
Local Satire Site Becomes Irrelevant After Failing to Be Podcast
WINOOSKI – The once proud flagship of the local satire scene, The Winooski was declared officially irrelevant this week after it was convicted of not […]
Burlington Progs Introduce Resolution Allowing Infants To Vote
BURLINGTON – With strong support from Gerber and Playskool, the Progressive Party in Burlington has introduced a new resolution that would lower the voting age […]
Vermont House Working on Legislation to Attract and Retain Millennials by Asking Their Grandchildren What They Like
MONTPELIER – In a new bid to reverse the state’s aging and declining population, the Vermont House of Representatives is working on a new piece […]
UVM Completes Purchase of Last Independent Health Care Facility in State, Moves on to Hotels
SOUTH BURLINGTON – With the hostile takeover of a small eye doctor’s office, the University of Vermont now owns every single health care office in […]