The Winooski

The Winooski

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Under Pressure From the State, UVM Medical Center Finally Admits Numbers and Prices are Imaginary Concepts

March 12, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Facing intense scrutiny from the state legislature following the discussion around bill S.31, the University of Vermont Medical Center has admitted that, were […]

Burlington Meteorologist Proposes New System For Seasons

March 1, 2019 Elizabeth Allen 2

Burlington, VT — A meteorologist based out of the Burlington Intranational Airport has a radical proposal to revamp the seasons. “Well, with climate change, the […]

Burlington Residents Sue City to Prevent Pothole Repair

February 26, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – A citizens group in Vermont’s largest city has filed a suit against Burlington that would prevent the repair or filling of any potholes, […]

Cold Feet Start to Bern Enthusiasm for Sanders in Burlington

February 25, 2019 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Bernie Sanders is once again running for President. The former Mayor and long-term resident of the Queen City could actually be elected President. […]

Satire Site Unable to Post Anything Funny About Abortion

February 21, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – The biggest news story of this week left many local satirists scratching their heads as to how to cover the passing of H.57 […]

Burlington Police Chief Replaces All Lieutenants With Actors From New York

February 20, 2019 The Winooski 2

BURLINGTON – When Burlington Police Deputy Chief Shawn Burke left to run South Burlington’s police department, many were skeptical about the decision to hire a […]

Burlington Free Press Reclassified as “Blog,” Begins Reposting Old Articles

February 16, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – Former newspaper The Burlington Free Press announced yesterday that it will officially be designated as a “blog with print option” from now on. They celebrated this […]

Married Couples Push For Holiday to Celebrate Their Kind of Non-Romantic Love

February 14, 2019 The Winooski 0

ESSEX – A group of married couples in Essex is trying to create momentum for a new holiday in addition to Valentine’s Day that would […]

“Snow Day But Today” – New Vermont Production of Rent Switches AIDS for the Struggles of Winter

February 13, 2019 The Winooski 1

BURLINGTON – When director Watts Chaikin, third cousin twice removed of famed New York director Joseph Chaikin, decided to mount a new production of Rent […]

Vermont White Supremacists Deface Tanning Salon in South Burlington

February 7, 2019 The Winooski 0

SOUTH BURLINGTON – Following the defacement of several buildings, including Ohavi Zedek Synagogue and the Pride Center of Vermont, a new target has been vandalized […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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