BROOKLYN – In a move that experts are calling “pretty, pretty, pretty good,” Brooklynite comedian Larry David has announced his bid for the Vermont senate seat currently occupied by Bernie Sanders. The Curb Your Enthusiasm star’s platform includes establishing clearer tipping laws and banning bathroom doors without locks.
Many Vermonters from all ends of the political spectrum expressed excitement about the new senate candidate. “He’s basically the same as Bernie,” said Burlington resident George Garibaldi, “except he has a better sense of humor. Plus, he’s way less likely to have a heart attack before the end of the term.”
Bennington native Eileen Crayfield echoed Garibaldi’s sentiments. “Larry David’s the perfect fit for Vermont,” she added. “He’s cranky, antisocial, and able to alienate both Republicans and Democrats. I see a lot of myself in him.”
Others were more hesitant to vote for the Bernie-Sanders-look-alike. “Has Larry David even been to Vermont?” asked local killjoy Manny Newton. “Is Vermont really willing to elect someone solely because he looks and talks like Bernie Sanders?”
So far, the overwhelming response has been yes. And while Bernie himself has yet to weigh in on his unlikely opponent, some speculate that the whole race is a long game to free up Bernie’s senate seat, so that he can pursue a 2020 presidency.
“I’d do anything to make Bernie my president,” said Garibaldi. “Even if it takes electing an objectively unqualified comedian.”
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