Trump Redraws US-Canada Border

WASHINGTON – During meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week, US President Donald Trump negotiated a new border definition between the two nations. President Trump hand-drew the new border, which Prime Minister Trudeau quickly agreed to, and which will go into effect immediately.

“Not only did we get a new trade agreement, but I strengthened our borders. With pen. No other president in history has ever used the pen that I used.” Trump tweeted early Monday morning.

Trudeau responded to the news while at a public speaking engagement for the Moose Protection Society, saying that while he did agree to the new border, it was due largely in part to the new border being the same as the old border.

“I understand that some people are concerned about the new agreement, and saying that I caved to the president’s demands,” Trudeau said. “I just want to assure you all that this new border that was drawn is identical to the old border. Mr. Trump traced it using a map of the previous border, and I signed off on it to get the meeting moving again. Nothing will change. It’s much like our ‘new’ trade agreement. As long as he thinks he is winning, he’s happy to do whatever we need him to do.”

President Trump dismissed claims that the border would be idenitical to the previous border, tweeting “People are saying idenitical border. Not true. Previous border in black ink. New border in blue ink. Don’t believe lying dems!”

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