Milton Tries to Avoid Ballot Confusion By Adding Identifying Information For Candidates

MILTON – With many reports of candidate confusion coming in during early voting, the town of Milton has decided to add relationships and other information to the names of the candidates on Tuesday’s ballots. Where once the ballot listed the candidates for State House District Rep. as “James P. Branagan,” “Jimmy Branagan,” and “JP Branagan Jr.”, the list now reads, “Doris’ younger son Jimmy Branagan,” “James P. Branagan who drives the white Prius,” and “JP Branagan, Jr., Tim’s cousin.”

“I think it’s going to clear up a lot of things for our voters,” said Town Manager Don Turner, Jr., Gail’s husband, the one who used to work for the fire department. “We see names on a piece of paper, and we don’t connect them to the real people who are actually running for office. I guess we’ll see, but I think this will make things much easier for folks.”

Turner assured the press that the new ballots would be ready in time for the election. Once this was cleared with Town Clerk Sheryl Prince, Paul Prince’s mom, who oversees elections, new ballots were printed immediately. Turner also claimed that, while he is excited about the idea, he can’t take full credit for it. The initial suggestion for adding the identifying information came from executive assistant Sheila Mooney, who makes those headbands and stuff. You know, Tom’s wife? Went to Norwich? Yeah, Sheila.