BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has issued an apology to the state of Vermont for causing a second missed day of school two weeks in a row. Company executives insist that it was a simple clerical error, and that Vermonters should not be concerned about continued weather attacks from the media conglomerate.
Today’s ice storm follows a large snow storm that took place exactly one week ago, starting Monday evening and affecting Tuesday morning commutes, causing many schools and businesses to close for the second week in a row. Disney insists it was not intentional, and that they have a policy in place to prevent multiple weather events occurring in rapid succession.
“We want to thank everyone for their patience,” said Disney representative Bruce X. Machina. “We do have a few kinks to work out of the system as we transition to full time weather control. The issue that many of you are experiencing happened when a lab tech failed to unclick the “recurring event” button on last week’s storm, causing a repeat of what he had hoped was a one-time event to launch our new streaming service, Disney Plus.”
Machina informed the press that the issue had been solved, and that the “recurring event” button would be defaulted to “unclicked” from now on.
“Whenever we launch a new system, there are going to be little glitches. For instance, our new streaming service, Disney Plus, not sure if I mentioned that, but it is so popular that our servers are having trouble handling the massive loads of customers enjoying quality content, like Pixar shorts, originals series, and our smash hit Star Wars show The Mandalorian. So you see, these things happen. But we were able to correct the error, and hopefully many schools will only be delayed. We’re very sorry about the ice, but it would seem wrong not to mention that Frozen 2 opens in theaters next week, for which this is definitely not a publicity stunt.”
The state of Vermont has suggested that these snow days are costing the local economy millions of dollars, and have asked Disney to pay for some of the lost productivity. Disney responded by offering to set up a free Disney Plus streaming account for the State House. No word yet on whether this would increase productivity or not.