Due to Low Vaccination Rate, Vermont Sees Recent Spike in Disco Fever
ESSEX JUNCTION – Once thought to be completely eradicated, authorities are reporting six cases of Disco Fever in Essex Junction over the past month, the […]
Articles by The Winooski
Trump Pre-Blames Puerto Rico and the Bahamas For Future Storm Damage
WASHINGTON DC – As another tropical depression begins to develop into what may become Tropical Storm Humberto, US President Donald Trump has informed the islands […]
State Approves Site For Vermont’s Second Landfill
BURLINGTON – The state of Vermont has been operating with only one landfill for decades. After officials moved to close local town dumps around 30 […]
5G Opponents to Hold Aluminum Foil Hat Fashion Show Fundraiser
AVERY’S GORE – Armed with new research from the Abacus Foundation, (the same group that started the Anti-Vax campaign, as well as the Anti-Con Trail […]
Millennial Refuses to Answer Phone Calls From Boomer Refusing to Return Text Messages
WILLISTON – Business has ground to a halt at international development giant RELEAF, as many internal communications are not being returned, responded to, or even […]
Syrup & Cows #118 – 9/8/19 – Praying Vermontis
Image Credits: Connor Byam.
Sanders Campaign Sues Switzerland Over Name of Capital City
BERN – Bernie Sanders’ campaign has filed a suit against the capital of Switzerland for use of the trademarked word “Bern.” Sanders has been using […]
Seven Days Involved In Massive Sasquatch Cover-Up
BRADFORD – The Creamery Bridge in Bradford, VT has been closed since 2018 thanks to an angry Sasquatch, but you’d never know it by reading […]
Vermont, Wisconsin Governors Embark on National Campaign to Promote Lactose Tolerance
MADISON, WI – Although no longer governor of Wisconsin, Scott Walker’s legacy will live on through a program he secretly developed with Vermont Governor Phil […]
Satire Writers Take Labor Day Off, Refuse to Wr
WINOOSKI – Despite very clear orders from their editor, the writers of Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski have refused to finish any articles […]