The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Articles by The Winooski

Superior Court Rules Poverty Not Protected by Constitution

November 30, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – In a groundbreaking new ruling this week, Vermont Superior Court declared that residents do not have a Constitutional right to be poor. A […]

Vermont Billionaires Accused of Paying No Taxes in 2018

November 29, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Vermont’s billionaires are being accused of not doing their part to help the state financially, after it was revealed this week that no […]

State Pledges Increased Funding to Develop Clean Energy “Snowlar” Panels

November 27, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Vermont Governor Phil Scott has pledged to continue moving the state away from a dependence on fossil fuels by increasing state funding for […]

National Romaine Association Pushes Back Against Produce Recall; Claims “Lettuce Doesn’t Kill People”

November 26, 2018 The Winooski 0

MANCHESTER – The picturesque town of Manchester, VT may be renamed for a day next month to “Romainechester” if the National Romaine Association (NRA) has […]

Syrup & Cows #077 – 11/25/18 – Thanksgiving Break

November 25, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Burlington City Council OKs Unlimited Delays to Mall Project

November 24, 2018 The Winooski 0

BURLINGTON – Don’t expect construction to start on CityPlace Burlington this spring. Or this winter. Or next summer. Or even next fall. This was the message […]

South Canada Accidentally Celebrates Thanksgiving

November 22, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – Stores in South Canada were closed this morning, as workers stayed home with their families to get ready for a big meal […]

Local Bigot Not Looking Forward to Dinner With Open-Minded Relatives

November 21, 2018 The Winooski 0

NEWPORT – While many Vermonters are preparing food and setting tables in joyful anticipation of warm family gatherings this week, some folks with differing political […]

Vermonters With Housing Subsidies Complain About Other Vermonters With Housing Subsidies

November 20, 2018 The Winooski 0

RUTLAND – Several homeowners have filed a complaint with Vermont Governor Phil Scott, pushing for a reduction in aid to lower income residents who are […]

With Success of Dennis Hof, More Dead Candidates Lining Up for 2019

November 19, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – Many questioned whether a confirmed dead person could possibly be elected to public office, but with the successful campaign of deceased candidate Dennis […]

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Recent Posts

  • Texas Legislature Passes Emergency “Don’t Say Gun” Law May 25, 2022
  • Burlington Announces New High School To Be Built at 1 North Avenue August 19, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #207 – 5/24/21 – First Day Back May 24, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #206 – 5/16/21 – The Search Continues May 16, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #205 – 5/9/21 – Unrecognizable May 9, 2021

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