SOUTH CANADA – Stores in South Canada were closed this morning, as workers stayed home with their families to get ready for a big meal that many considered a national tradition. It wasn’t until almost noon that someone remembered that they no longer lived in the United States, and that Thanksgiving wasn’t technically a holiday for them.
“Oh shoot, I never even thought about that!” said Secretary of State Angela Washington, who also manages the Post Office in town. “I totally gave everyone the day off! Do I need to call them back in?”
Several citizens attempted to text President Bedard, asking if they did indeed have the day off, but the president was in the middle of cooking a turkey and she was unable to return messages for most of the morning.
“Of course we have Thanksgiving,” President Bedard said, once the bird was in the oven. “I mean, Vermont has Thanksgiving, and Canada has Thanksgiving, so we’re gonna have Thanksgiving. I guess we shouldn’t have assumed it would be today, but I feel like we should just go with it for now, but maybe we probably should take down those Pilgrim decorations. We never had no Pilgrims. And hey, I say we set an actual date for South Canadian Thanksgiving sometime next week. Or maybe we’ll have two, I don’t know. There’s a lot to be thankful for. So, thanks everybody.”