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The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Satire Writers Take Labor Day Off, Refuse to Wr

September 2, 2019 The Winooski 1

WINOOSKI – Despite very clear orders from their editor, the writers of Vermont’s premiere local satire site The Winooski have refused to finish any articles […]

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Syrup & Cows #110 – 7/14/19 – Wearing Protection

July 14, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

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Syrup & Cows #109 – 7/7/19 – Fire & Water

July 7, 2019 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Struck Down Bernie Sanders Actually More Powerful Than We Can Possibly Imagine

June 28, 2019 The Winooski 0

MIAMI – Possible Democrat Bernie Sanders took the stage last night at the second of two primary debates, despite being struck down almost three years […]

Facebook, Instagram Down; Happiness Index Soars

March 14, 2019 The Winooski 0

WINOOSKI – Vermont has recently been ranked as the best place to live in America, beating out Hawaii for the happiest state for the first […]

Thetford Opens State-of-the-Art Performing Arts Stairwell

May 25, 2018 The Winooski 0

THETFORD – Thanks to a generous grant and the tireless dedication of local musician Kevin Quigley, the town of Thetford, VT has just opened a […]

OPINION: States’ Rights Are Important on Issues I Don’t Care About

April 16, 2018 The Winooski 2

In these troubling times of federal overreach, governmental interference, and general dystopian inevitability, the case must be made for the rights of states to legislate […]

Burlington, Vermont Wins Acting Oscar For Pretending Not to Be Conservative

March 5, 2018 The Winooski 0

LOS ANGELES – The city of Burlington, Vermont took home an Oscar last night at the 90th Academy Awards for its role as “Progressive, Forward-Thinking […]

U.S. Military Members Form Union, Lose Hero Status

September 15, 2017 The Winooski 0

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Soldiers and other members of the U.S. Armed Forces have lost their status as national heroes after forming a union this week, […]

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Recent Posts

  • Trump Claims Biden Inauguration Has Smallest Attendance in Modern History January 20, 2021
  • Trump Demands to Be Shot From a Cannon as He Exits the White House January 18, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #189 – 1/17/21 – Zombies January 17, 2021
  • Skiers Won’t Have to Hold It In January 13, 2021
  • Syrup & Cows #188 – 1/10/21 – A Good Run January 10, 2021

Recent Comments

  • Johnny Canuck on Patriots Storm Vermont Capitol to Thank Governor for Hard Work and Dedication
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on Vermont Sends Gift Basket to Iran, Asks to Be Left Out of Revenge Plans
  • 2020: A Quick Look Back at the Year No One Wants to Look Back At – The Winooski on 2019: A Look Back at Vermont’s Most Recent Year Ever
  • The Winooski on State Explores Unifying All School Districts
  • Mac on State Explores Unifying All School Districts

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