WATERBURY – The Vermont Forensic Laboratory has released a study finding that soft-serve ice cream is more delicious when it is spelled with more “E”s. Normally the lab, located in Waterbury, deals only with items relating to cases in the state’s criminal justice system, but when several Vermonters complained that certain spellings were indeed “criminal,” the scientists put their tools to work on this vital problem.
After weeks of analysis using the most advanced equipment in the state, it was confirmed that CREEMEES with four “E”s are the most delicious by a wide margin. CREAMEES were found to be the second most delicious with only three “E”s, followed by the bland 2 “E” CREAMIES. There was one instance of a CREAMI with only one “E”, but it was vile and inedible. The VFL advises consumers to be on the lookout for summer treats with the correct spelling in order to maximize satisfaction.
When asked about KREEMEES with a “K” the forensic scientist with whom we were speaking just screamed “Sacrilege!” and slammed the door in our face.
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