Burlington City Council Approves Stark Tower Development Plans

BURLINGTON – Burlington city council met and approved plans for a new building on Church Street this week after months of deliberation and review. The schematics, submitted to the council by genius billionaire playboy philanthropist Anthony Stark, call for a 78-story high rise that would tower over the new development currently proceeding at the site of what is now Burlington Town Center. Stark’s tower would be notable for the helipad jutting out from its seventieth floor, as well as for the large neon lettering spelling out “STARK” just beneath and to the side of the helipad.

Proponents of the plan point to the affordable housing that will make up 20% of the tower’s square footage, as well as the numerous jobs that will be created to build the tower itself, and those that will come with the completion of the four stories of retail space at the base of the tower.

Those opposed to the plan argue that the tower will block the view of the lake, that they do not trust the arc reactor that will power the building to provide completely clean energy, and that having the tower in Burlington increases the risk of a terrorist attack by the Chitauri, the Asgardians, or a horde of sentient robots.

The plan was approved by the council 6-5, with Ward 7 Councilor Tom Ayres excluded from the vote after his mind was revealed to be under the control of Loki, the Asgardian god of mischief.

Image Credits: André Carrotflower.

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