Wilmington Dogs Flee to Local Schools For Protection From Bears

WILMINGTON – After one Wilmington dog was killed by a bear six weeks ago, the dogs of southern Vermont wrote it off as a fluke. Now that a second dog has been killed by a bear, the canine residents are fleeing to the local schools for protection.

“Our homes aren’t safe anymore,” says Carlton, a poodle/black lab mix who lives in the area. “But we know that there is one place that receives federal funding for bear protection, and that is the public school system.”

“We all laughed at Betsy DeVos when she told us the bears were coming for us, but that was because we thought she was talking about humans. Now that we know she meant dogs, we are very relieved that all public school teachers are armed with federal weapons meant to deter bears,” says Olivia Snappleton Crackerjack III, a chihuahua with traces of beagle.

The Winooski reached out to the local schools, but have received no comment on how they will handle the influx of dogs currently camped out on their property. The dogs also seem to be unaware that there is no school in the summer months. More on this story as it develops.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Winooski on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.