STOWE – Vermont State Police have asked for help from the public to identify a female suspect known only as “The Zucchini Bandit.” The suspect is tied to a string of vegetable-related vandalism across the state, in which people’s homes, vehicles, and other property have been covered in baskets full of zucchini, cucumbers, summer squash, and a few tomatoes from time to time.
“It’s getting to be a huge problem,” said Officer Zeke Clooney, who is heading up the investigation. “We’ve seen zucchinis left on porches, in mailboxes, bicycle baskets, and stuck through open car windows. One guy even found a plastic shopping bag full of zucchini in his zucchini garden. We do have the one photo now, taken in Stowe, and we are asking anyone with any information to come forward so we can wrap this up as quickly as possible. No one should have to live in fear.” Clooney clarified that although the photo was taken in Stowe, the zucchini bandit’s crimes are not confined to that area as zucchini reports have come in from nearly every town in Vermont.
Officers have appealed to social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook to add a zucchini emoji to help in their online efforts to track down the bandit. A representative from Facebook said in a prepared statement that the popular site receives a large number of requests for a zucchini emoji, but feels that the eggplant emoji is sufficient for most purposes at this time.
If you see the zucchini bandit, police ask that you call 911 immediately. She is considered extremely dangerous and citizens are warned not to approach her as she is extremely likely to hand you something from her garden.
Image Credits: Doug Kerr.
In Vermont its easy to spot the lonely people. They are the ones buying zucchini.
First they came for the zucchini. I don’t eat zucchini so it was no big deal. Then they came for the cucumbers. They give my gas so I didn’t speak up. Now they want the sweet corn, which they will have to pry from my COLD DEAD BUTTERY FINGERS!