Gov. Scott Approves Roadside Punching Test for Marijuana

MONTPELIER – Governor Scott’s legal marijuana research group has approved a new roadside testing procedure to determine whether or not the driver has been impaired by the illegal drug. Marijuana was decriminalized by the state government, but the bill was one of the items vetoed this year by Scott who is now looking to come down harder on the drug.

Under the new law, if officers suspect the driver to be stoned they are to refrain from saying anything about their suspicions, and at some point during the conversation with the suspected pot-head they are to throw a quick right jab as a simple reflex test. If the driver doesn’t react and does not dodge the blow then they will be deemed “too stoned to drive.” When asked to comment, Scott said that “it will also help officers positively identify repeat ‘high drivers’ more easily by checking to see how many black eyes they have, saving us tons of time.”

The governor was asked about his plans to address the opiate crisis in the state, but said that the opiate problem was “too hard” to solve, and that “beating down stoners” would have better results overall.

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