Vermobsters to Contract with Jeezum Crows to Provide Security for Program Participants

MONTPELIER – In an unexpected development, a murder of the newly discovered “Jeezum Crows” flocked to meet with state ornithologist Robin Redd to discuss financial conerns. They conferred with her via avian interpreter Grayson Graible, an ancient African grey parrot who is evidently adept at translating Corvid into English. Graible explains that while the corvids enjoy annoying humans, they also felt compelled to provide a stable cash flow to support future nestlings.

Investment in future generations prompted the Jerk Council of Jeezum Crows, LLC to partner with businesswoman Erna “Buckshot” Buck to neutralize threats to Vermobsters participants. “As Vermobsters carry out their dubiously lawful activities, we the members of the Crow Corps ™ pledge to dispense copious amounts of fecal matter on anything that menaces the humans we guard,” reads the contract, in part.

When Redd asked about the birds’ fear of Jeezum Scarecrows, Graible said the delegation voiced avian expletives before promising, “If we met are with Jeezum Scarecrows, we shall find another way to wreak havoc with foes of the Vermobsters.”

Cletus Cheet, of Hook and Crook law firm, says his company is investigating the legality of the agreement between the birds and the Mob legitimate business organization.

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