The Winooski

The Winooski

Locally Sourced Organic Vermont Satire

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Month: September 2018

Syrup & Cows – #069 – Charge ‘n’ Tolls

September 30, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Vermont Stores Holding Huge Bump Stock Clearance Sales This Weekend

September 29, 2018 The Winooski 0

WATERBURY – Vermont gun owners can enjoy deep discounts on certain supplies this weekend, as almost every gun and ammunition shop in the state is […]

Judge Annuls Kavanaugh Marriage After Ashley Kavanaugh Shows No Wedding on Her Calendar

September 28, 2018 The Winooski 2

WASHINGTON DC – A federal judge yesterday annuled the wedding of Brett and Ashley Kavanaugh when the former Mrs. Kavanaugh produced a calendar from 2004 […]

State Mental Health Programs Now Overseen By Vermont Agency of Transportation

September 27, 2018 The Winooski 0

MONTPELIER – After criticism over its handling of the looming mental health crisis in the state, the Vermont State Department of Mental Health has been […]

Grafton Opens New Foliage Hiking Area For Nudists Called “Peepers Trail”

September 26, 2018 The Winooski 0

GRAFTON – If you’re a leaf-peeper who enjoys peeping at more than just leaves, you may be interested in visiting the new “Peepers Trail” in […]

Vermobsters to Contract with Jeezum Crows to Provide Security for Program Participants

September 25, 2018 Jill Allen 0

MONTPELIER – In an unexpected development, a murder of the newly discovered “Jeezum Crows” flocked to meet with state ornithologist Robin Redd to discuss financial conerns. […]

VT Department of Corrections Announces New Plan To Transfer Out-of-State Prisoners to Azkaban

September 24, 2018 The Winooski 0

WILLISTON – After an official inquiry by the Joint Legislative Justice Oversight Committee regarding treatment and transfer of out-of-state prisoners, Vermont’s Department of Corrections has announced […]

Syrup & Cows #068 – 9/23/18 – The Wall

September 23, 2018 The Winooski 0

Image Credits: Connor Byam.

Carolinians Accuse Vermonters of “Hurricane Privilege”

September 22, 2018 The Winooski 1

RALEIGH – Residents of both North and South Carolina have been accusing Vermonters of having “Hurricane Privilege” this week after people in the Green Mountain […]

South Canada Launches First Naval Defense Ships

September 21, 2018 The Winooski 0

SOUTH CANADA – In a move that is causing concern among its neighbors, the tiny nation of South Canada has announced the formation of an […]

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