Vermont Residents Accused of Cat-Calling Sunset

SOUTH BURLINGTON – Authorities in South Burlington are stepping up efforts to reduce cat-calling after complaints from the sunset that several people made unwanted remarks about its appearance. Those accused 0f the harrassment include men, women, and non-binary gendered individuals, and the suspected harrassers shouted their inappropriate comments from motor vehicles, bicycles, and on foot.

“It gets pretty old,” said the sunset, “hearing ‘Wow’ every single time somebody sees me. Running to your friends and yelling ‘Hey, you gotta see the sunset tonight!’ is aggressively embarrassing, and it needs to stop. Yeah, I know I look good, but I didn’t put these colors on for you to gawk at. Can’t I just look good for myself?”

The sunset was asked about potentialy respectful comments about its beauty, but these too would apparently be unwelcomed.

“When humans see some natural beauty that is pleasing to their eyes, they should definitely not stare at it or make any remarks about it.”

Those accused of cat-calling say that they had no idea the sunset felt this way, and definitely would not have said anything if they had known it would bother the sunset.

“Well, they never bothered to ask, did they?” the sunset said in response. “A little consent goes a long way people.”