Police Looking For Information on Mysterious “Chainsaw Angel”

NORTHFIELD – Vermont’s newest superhero may have residents feeling safe and secure, but police are asking for any information regarding the identity of the masked Chainsaw Angel that has been seen in the Northfield area over the past few days. Several people have reported seeing a masked figure with a chainsaw descending from the sky to clear fallen trees, chop firewood, or ward off bears.

“We’re not interested in arresting anyone,” said Northfield Police Chief John Helfant. “We just want to ask this person a few questions and confirm that there isn’t a public safety threat. So far the Chainsaw Angel hasn’t done anything illegal, but we would like to have a conversation.”

There have been five reported encounters so far with the Chainsaw Angel, but police have not been able to put together an accurate description of the individual due to conflciting information from the various witnesses.

“It was definitely a dude,” said Northfield resident Nat Tebow. “I was out by my shed with a couple of buddies have a few beers, and my wife tells me the driveway is blocked. So I go around front and sure enough there’s a tree down, blocking everything. I’m about to go back and tell my buddies they better get some axes and help me move the damn thing, when this guy drops down from outta nowhere. Not a huge guy, but solid, all in black, black mask, comes with this chainsaw, chops the whole thing up, doesn’t say a word, and before I could thank him he was gone.”

Other reports say the Chainsaw Angel may be female. “Oh, she was definitely female,” said Randy Quick. “She had white wings that she used to fly down and scare off a bear that was heading my way. Did you know bears don’t like chainsaws? I had no idea. Anyway, I couldn’t see her face, but either way, maybe have her call me? I could leave my number?”

The Chainsaw Angel has been described as male, female, non-binary, wearing black, wearing white, having wings, having a motorcycle, flying, driving, jumping, and potentially having the power to turn invisible, but all agree that this new hero does not speak, wears a black face covering, and carries a chainsaw. And, so far, everyone agrees that this new hero is a big help.

If you have any information on the Chainsaw Angel, please contact the Northfield police department.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Winooski on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.