SOUTH CANADA – President Trump is reportedly considering sending up to 40,000 soldiers to the US-South Canadian Border after a Caravan was seen heading towards Berkshire, VT earlier this morning. Witnesses have described the potential influx of refugees as a 2004 Dodge Caravan, dark blue in color, no license plate, and holding anywhere from 4-7 South Canadians.
South Canadian President Charlene “Skunk” Bedard has said that she has no way of knowing who the individuals might be, as she had forgotten about license plates for cars, but she is glad for the reminder that her country “should probably figure something out about that.” The South Canadian military has taken no action to stop or slow down the Caravan, and President Trump has condemned defense secretary Brad Wetherby for his failure to intercede.
“Yeah, I don’t care too much about that Caravan,” Wetherby said to press. “I’m much more worried about this one Forester we got roaming around knocking over mailboxes. Let me deal with that first, and I’ll get to the Caravan.”
At this time the people in the Caravan have committed no crimes by either US or South Canadian standards, but President Trump is still claiming potential harm if the Caravan is allowed over the border. In a tweet early this morning he stated his intentions to secure the border.
No idea whose [sic] in that Caravan! Criminals? Enemies? Must be sure! Sending 40,000 troops to check. Take no chances! Protect our borders! South Canada would be speaking French right now if it weren’t for the US. They should be grateful we aren’t even meaner. #badfriend #nocaravans