WINOOSKI – In a stunning revelation that is changing everything about how Americans look at finance, a new study released last week has shown that when families and individuals spend all of their money, they have no more money left. This seems to hold true even for people who make larger amounts of money, which many assumed would not be the case.
One couple making $500,000/year were simply astonished that, after spending all of their money on bills, vacations, debt payments, and then $10K of “extra stuff,” they hardly had any left.
“I just don’t get it,” said the couple. “We spent more on vacations as a family than people on minimum wage make in a year, and yet we still have hardly anything left over. It just doesn’t seem fair.”
People all over Vermont were quick to empathize, as they admitted to having their own struggles with money not being available after being spent on luxuries.
“A-yuh, I feel fer ’em,” said Virginia Slyms of Winooski. “I only take in about three hunnerd a week, and my smokes cost me prolly a hunnerdnforty. I kin barely afford to eat!”
For some the news was a relief, like the financially troubled Nolgee family. “It makes so much sense now,” said Ted, head of household and financial planner for the family. “I get my kids all the latest video game consoles and smart phones, and then I sit there looking at the budget, wondering why we’re broke. I had no idea that when you decide to spend some of the money you make, it means you don’t actually have it anymore. We’re really going to change the way we look at finances in this family.”
Whether the new data will bring about any long-term change for Vermonters remains to be seen, but for now you can take comfort in knowing that your money problems were never your fault. A system where spending your hard-earned money causes you to lose it is clearly a broken one.