New Bumper Stickers Available for Myopic, One-Issue Voters

WILLISTON – With so many voters fixated on only one or two issues, it can be hard to cater to all of their individual bumper sticker needs. But now one Vermont company is hoping to provide a cost-effective way to produce road flair that is more universal to meet the needs of voters today.

“I Am a Myopic, One-Issue Voter” reads the bumper sticker proudly displayed on the car owned by sticker designer Cy Shordit, and he hopes the stickers will catch on.

“I’ve seen so many stickers saying stuff like ‘I am a 2nd Amendment Voter,’ or ‘I am Pro-Life, and I VOTE!’ and I thought, I don’t have the budget to print bumper stickers for every issue out there. But then I realized, hey, they’re all kind of saying the same thing!”

Shordit’s stickers will come in four pre-printed themes (guns, the symbol for female, human fetuses, and post-apocalyptic desert wasteland), as well as a green neutral background, but customers can head to the website to customize a sticker background with their own clipart.

“I love these stickers,” says Williston resident Grover Zellos. “I only vote based on whatever I think will benefit me personally the most, and screw the community! So I got one customized with my face in the background. These guys really get me. I bought ten!”

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